


The Chances We're Given

by qye



Series: A Twist In Fate [2]
Category: The Last of Us (Video Games)
Genre: Abby Redemption, Abby comes back to Jackson, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Angst, BAMF Dina, Continuation of By Some Miracle, Ellie Deserves A Break, Enemies to Friends, F/F, Lev is the Best, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Break Up, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:09:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28180698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qye/pseuds/qye
Summary: Ellie stares at the girl, trying to decipher the mixed emotions on her face as quietly as possible. The sinking sensation, which should have logically gone away as soon as Dina confirmed she wasn’t going back to Jesse, still hangs oppressively as if foretelling some world-shattering doom-“I’m... breaking up with you, Ellie.”In an instant, Ellie’s brain short circuits and she can feel the air get violently knocked from her lungs.“Wh- what?”Ellie thought that after saving Joel from Abby, everything would work out fine- after all, all of her problems from before had seemed to spawn from that one moment, and in her mind, she more then deserves her happy fucking ending.And yet, after everything, it seems the world isn't done screwing her over just yet.DIRECT CONTINUATION OF "BY SOME MIRACLE"
Relationships: Abby & Ellie (The Last of Us), Abby & Lev (The Last of Us), Dina & Ellie (The Last of Us)
Series: A Twist In Fate [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1918114
Comments: 50
Kudos: 114





	1. Ellie

Ellie feels incredibly and inexplicably nervous as she stands on Dina’s apartment’s porch, fist raised to knock. She knows she should probably be over the butterflies by now- for fucks sake, she married this girl in another lifetime, and it’s not as if they’re strangers in this one. But for some reason, she feels like this is their first date all over again. 

Should she have brought flowers? She probably should have brought flowers. After all, if this is the night Dina chooses to tell her about- she should have flowers. She glances behind her and considers running to the field next to the stables and picking a bouquet quickly- 

“Are you going to stand there all night or are you gonna knock, nerd?” 

Ellie freezes and looks back towards the door to find it propped open, Dina giving her a bemused smirk from the opening. 

God, she needs to reply. It’s been an awkward amount of time, and if she doesn’t respond then Dina is gonna think she’s stupid or something- quick, say anything- 

“Um. Hi.” 

Ellie internally kicks herself.

Dina raises an eyebrow, her eyes filled with laughter. 

“Hi.” 

Ellie forces a smile onto her face and straightens her posture, absentmindedly shoving her hands in her pockets. 

“So. You...wanted to talk?”

Dina’s smile suddenly grows a bit more guarded, and she steps out onto the porch and shuts the door behind her, adjusting her thick coat as she does. 

Ellie doesn’t point out the fact that it’s 76 degrees outside. Dina will tell her when she’s ready. 

Hopefully soon- preferably, tonight. 

“Walk with me?” Dina asks as she finally turns around, her expression unreadable. Ellie nods wordlessly, and the other woman turns and begins to carefully make her way down the stairs. 

Ellie doesn’t move to help, but she stays close just in case Dina loses her balance or asks for her arm. A fond memory of Dina chewing her out for trying to help her up a hill without being asked pops to mind, and Ellie once again feels nervous excitement leap in her chest. 

They don’t talk for the beginning of the walk, but the silence isn’t uncomfortable. Ellie can feel Dina’s eyes pass over her a few times before focusing back on the path of the street, and she finds herself glancing at the other girl constantly, watching as she progressively tries harder and harder to look unaffected by exhaustion. After what she estimates as about ten minutes, she finally pipes up. 

“So, what was it you wanted to talk ab-” 

“Can we sit down first?” Dina interrupts, pointing towards a bench just off the side of one of the smaller roads, and Ellie hears the lightest tilt of mild desperation in her voice. 

“Oh, of course.” 

She changes direction and slows her pace just a little to accommodate Dina, who reaches the bench and, to her effort, tries her best to sit down gracefully. 

Ellie pretends to examine the storefront across the street obliviously. They sit in silence for a few moments as Dina adjusts her coat, but before long, Dina settles and takes a deep breath. 

Ellie can feel her look over before she speaks. 

“I’m pregnant.” 

Elie stills and turns her head to look at Dina. The other girl is examining her face, looking slightly sad and determined. After a few seconds of silence, Ellie takes a deep breath and tries not to look too obvious. 

“Okay-” 

“Don’t worry, it’s not yours.” Dina adds, poking her arm teasingly. Ellie doesn’t hold back the short laugh that bubbles to her lips, and she grins at Dina. 

“Oh thank god.” She replies, sarcasm light in her tone. 

Dina tilts her head, the soft smile on her lips turning quizzical. One eyebrow raises. 

“You don’t look all that surprised.” 

Ellie feels a jolt of panic and she quickly schools her expression into a more shocked version. 

“No, I’m, uh, really, surprised.” 

“Sure. Did Jesse tell you or something?” 

A sinking sensation in her stomach knocks her off guard as the words leave Dina’s lips and Ellie feels like she has been punched in the gut. 

“You….told Jesse?” 

_Before telling me?_ her brain finishes in the silence. Dina grimaces, and for a second Ellie is paranoid that she had finished the sentence out loud- but when Dina sighs and forces a smile, the fear dissipates into steady unease. 

“Yeah, Ellie, I told him. He’s kinda the baby daddy.” Her voice sounds a little sad and the joke falls flat on Ellie’s ears. The pit in her stomach grows steadily, and Ellie quickly looks down, rubbing her left palm. 

“Are you- um- are you two-” The words die in her mouth and she closes her eyes, taking a deep breath. 

“Am I getting back together with him? No.” 

Ellie starts, looking over to find Dina rolling her eyes. 

“Now that’s a surprised face.”

“But- what does Jesse think?” 

“Is it bad that I don’t care?” Dina replies dryly, slowly looking over the street in front of them. 

“Um-” 

Dina waves her off, snorting. “Don’t answer that.” 

Ellie stares at the girl, trying to decipher the mixed emotions on her face as quietly as possible. The sinking sensation, which should have logically gone away as soon as Dina confirmed she wasn’t going back to Jesse, still hangs oppressively as if foretelling some world-shattering doom-

“I’m... breaking up with you, Ellie.” 

In an instant, Ellie’s brain short circuits and she can feel the air get violently knocked from her lungs. 

“Wh- what?” She manages to choke the word out, shock freezing her in place. Dina sighs. 

“You have been great Ellie, and I’ve really enjoyed all our dates- but I’ve realized that this whole time, through everything, I’ve been the one taking care of myself and-” 

Ellie’s hand flies out to hold Dina’s, and Ellie forces her panicked brain to focus. 

“Dina, I can be there for you! I had no idea if you were pregnant before, but now that I know I promise that I- I can help!” 

Dina laughs and puts her hand over Ellie’s, squeezing once before letting go. 

“I know you can. I didn’t mean to say that I don’t think you could.” 

“Then let me.” 

“No.” 

Ellie feels like the invisible force that knocked her air out is back, shoving downwards on her windpipe. 

“Why the hell not? If this is because you think I wouldn’t be a good parent-” 

“Woah, slow down there Ellisaurus, no one said anything about you being this baby’s parent.” For the first time in the conversation, Dina looks and sounds slightly irritated, and Ellie shuts her mouth, sitting back on the bench and going back to rubbing her palm. 

Her hands feel cold without Dina’s there to hold. 

“Ellie, listen to me, okay? Just let me talk, no more interruptions. Can you do that?” 

Ellie hesitates before nodding numbly. 

Dina nods and takes a deep breath. 

“I am pretty decently along in the whole pregnancy thing by now. I’ve known for a while, and I haven’t started telling anyone since really recently-”

Ellie knows. She’s noticed her hiding it this entire time- noticed how she hasn’t let things get past just kissing between the two of them for months now, noticed how she always wears layers despite the weather, but she’d just thought Dina wasn’t ready, so she hadn’t pressed. Maybe if she’d just fucking asked sooner-

“-and I was kind of confused as to why the idea of telling other people scared me so much, but, after a rocky couple of months filled with constant damn morning sickness-” 

Ellie knows all about that too. Her pregnancy had been rough last time, and she’d had to hold her hair back many a morning, both on the road, and when they’d finally gotten back to Jackson-

“-I’ve realized that honestly, I wasn’t keeping it secret because I was scared of how other people would react. I realized that I kept it to myself because I knew that, not only could handle this alone, but that I kind of wanted to.” 

Ellie starts to shake her head, her mouth opening, but Dina gives her a stern look that she knows all too well, so she simply shuts her mouth. 

“We’ve only been dating for what, barely five months? We’ve been on maybe seven dates in that entire time- and we’ve both been busy, I get that. You and Joel have been working through- whatever it is you guys needed to work through-” 

Her chest feels cold. She should have spent more time with her, she shoul have made sure that Dina and her got as close as they had last time, but she had been just so damn _stupid_ \- 

“-and I’ve been pregnant this entire time, so obviously I’ve kinda.... had that to worry about. I just- I really don’t want to start a serious relationship like this, no matter how I feel about you.”

Ellie finally speaks up, her voice hoarse. “But the baby needs-” 

Dina shakes her head. “You don’t get to tell me what the baby needs. Jesse tried to pull the whole “the baby needs two parents” crap too- but all she needs is me, at least for right now.” 

The world seems to crawl to a halt suddenly, and Ellie can hear blood rushing to her head. She feels sick. 

“...She?” 

Dina’s serious, scolding expression drops into a soft smile and she glances down, wrapping her arms around her chest. 

“Yeah. I went to see Sean and- it’s a girl.” She replies. Ellie can hear the joy in her tone, and some part of her distantly reflects that joy- but the louder part of her mind is filled with memories and a sense of betrayal and wrongness. 

“Was- was Doctor Yazbeck sure?” 

Dina gives her a weird look before her eyebrows raise. 

“Yeah, he was pretty dang sure- are you okay?? You’re white as a sheet- well, whiter than usual.” 

Ellie shakes her head and balls her hands together tightly, forcing a smile. 

“Nothing, just- that’s wonderful, Dina.” 

“Are you su-” 

Ellie shoves herself onto her feet, cutting off Dina just as she begins to reach out for her. 

“I- I have to go. See you around.” Ellie mumbles, starting to walk before Dina forma a reply.

“W- Ellie, wait!” 

She freezes in place, turning her head just slightly and holding back the tears beginning to collect in her eyes. 

“This doesn’t have to be forever, okay? I wasn’t lying when I told you that I- that I care about you, so, maybe later, when I’ve had time to settle in as a mom, if you still want- we can maybe talk about….us?” 

Something in her heart breaks, and the tears start to slide down her cheeks silently. She takes a shaking breath, not turning around to face her but nodding. 

“Yeah. Maybe.” She whispers, before she takes off into the night before Dina notices her tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .....I'm sorry. 
> 
> -Ri


	2. Ellie

Ellie is awake when she hears a knock at her door, but she may as well have just woken up. Her movements are slow and lethargic as she pulls herself up from her pile of pillows and blankets, and she trips twice over the uneven floor. It’s as if her mind is drowned by a dull grey fog as she moves. 

She finds she physically doesn’t have the energy to care. 

When she opens the door, she immediately regrets it for two reasons. One, the light outside is blinding to her tired retinas, and she reflexively flinches away from the brightness, suddenly aware that she has a headache the size of a bloater.

Two, the person in front of her is the last man on earth she wants to see right now. 

Jesse. 

“Look, I know things are bound to be uncomfortable between us-” He begins. 

Ellie immediately makes to slam the door in his face. 

“Hey!” He catches the handle and frowns. “I just want to talk!” 

“I have nothing to say to you.” Ellie replies. Her voice is low and hoarse, and she can see Jesse wince at the sound. 

"Look, I know you're mad-" 

Ellie releases her grip on the door and instead pushes his hand off the doorknob, huffing. "I'm not-" 

Her voice trembles as she speaks, and she stops, pulling in a deep breath before leveling the ground with a glare. 

"Just- leave me alone, Jesse." 

"What, you aren't even going to hear me out?" 

Ellie shrugs noncommittally and gives up on shoving the door closed, instead turning and shuffling back over to her bed and flopping onto her side, wrapping herself in a blanket and facing away from the door, squeezing her eyes shut against the light. 

"Look, you know what Dina is like-" 

She hears a creak and sighs, but can't bother herself to move to stop his completely unlawful entrance into her apartment. 

"Go away." 

"What do you want me to do, Ellie?? She’s made up her mind, and if she wants to do this alone for now-" 

Ellie shoves herself up onto her elbows. 

"What part of "fuck off" do you not understand??" 

Jesse ignores her. "-and I know this all has interrupted you and Dina’s, uh, thing, and I'm sorry, but what she chooses to do isn't my fault Ellie-" 

Ellie snarls and shoves herself up onto her elbows, grabbing the nearest pillow and chucking it at Jesse as hard as she can. 

"Can you fucking stop??? I get it! She doesn't need me right now! None of my feelings matter because I’m just her ex-girlfriend, I have no right to steal away your kid, blah blah blah, and I know exactly what you have to say about that!! Can you just leave me the FUCK alone?!" 

By the end of her sentence she realizes she’s crying for the fourth time this morning, and Jesse has developed an expression akin to a deer in headlights. 

"Ellie-" 

She furiously rubs her face and flips her body away from him, burrowing into her blankets and hugging herself, her fingernails digging just a little too deep. 

"I didn't mean it like that...and look, I know you guys agreed to be just friends for now, but…" He trails off and sighs. 

"Look, this is just a….weird, complicated situation, okay? And I didn't come to yell at you, I just wanted to make sure you were okay-" 

"Well, obviously I'm not." Ellie snaps, not looking back. She hears the telltale creaking as he shifts awkwardly, and it's several seconds before he summons a response. 

"Look, we talked and she- she may not want to be... y’know, with either of us, but she told me that she really does want you in her life. If you ever…if you ever, uh, get over this or….whatever you need to do." 

Ellie feels like she needs to scream, her silent tears wetting the mound of pillows underneath her face. 

There is creaking and Jesse starts to walk toward the door before hesitating. 

"Ellie-" 

"Get out." She snaps, trying to put as much venom as she can into the words. 

She can feel eyes shift off of her back.

"....alright. Well. Uh, Maria wanted to see you at her place. She said it was pretty urgent." He says gruffly, and a second later he steps through the door and she hears the frame slam in the way it always does despite anyone’s best effort. 

It takes her a few moments to stop crying, and a few minutes more to pull herself out of bed again. Everything feels trapped in molasses, and she has a developing headache that makes her seriously consider ignoring the last direction from Jesse and just staying, perched on the side of her bed. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she catches a glance of a collection of drawings she'd done a month ago when she had thought to prepare for Dina's announcement- a group of pictures of JJ sketched from slowly fading memories of another life. 

Her bittersweet mind helpfully reminds her that those sketches of JJ are all that remain of a person who will apparently never even exist, replaced by a baby girl that she would be nothing to at all. 

She rubs her face and aggressively kicks the journal across the room, shoving herself up and tugging on sneakers, desperate to get away from her thoughts and find some form of distraction in the outside world. 

Her mind is a foggy daze as she stumbles into the bright light of the day, squinting up at the sky and feeling cheated by the fact that the weather is perfect in spite of her mood. She feels eyes on her as she walks down the main road, and she can almost hear the whispers following her. 

Ellie has a sudden urge to scream at all of them to mind their own damn business but instead she focuses on moving steadily forward, working to keep herself walking in a straight line. 

She doesn't exactly have a sense for the time it takes her to round the corner and walk up the steps to Maria's place, but it feels like a simultaneous eternity and a passing second to her lethargic mind. 

She raises her hand to knock but hears a sharp call of "come in" before her fist connects with the wood. She sighs and shrugs before twisting the knob- Maria sounds like she's in a mood. 

As if it's not enough that she's been dumped, now she gets to be yelled at too. Joy of joys. 

Ellie steps into the entrance, slowly scanning her surroundings. In a second, her eyes find Maria and a second figure that looms over the other woman in both height and stature.

For the first time in her day, Ellie has a fully coherent thought that sends a chill down her spine. 

It's fucking _her_.


	3. Ellie

Her blood goes cold as her eyes lock into a muscled back and a long, dirty blonde braid. Every fear from six months ago comes rushing back with palpable force, drowning out the lethargic depression, and she feels herself freeze in the doorway. 

Maria notices her first and gives her a trademark, professional smile. 

“Ellie, glad you could make it. Abby here tells me that you’re old friends?” 

Abby turns to catch Ellie’s eye and smiles. The look is forced and fake, and she can tell that Maria picks up on this from the way her grip tightens on the back of the chair she's standing over. 

“Hey Ellie! I haven’t seen you since the Fireflies back in Salt Lake!” She says with a fake cheer, and steps forward, offering her hand. 

“What are you doing here?” 

Abby’s fake smile freezes on her face, and she glances back to Maria, whose arms are now crossed over her chest. 

“Look, I know we didn’t end things on the best terms-” 

Ellie opens her mouth to interject, but Abby raises her volume, drowning out the stumbled protest. 

“BUT, as I was just telling Maria, I need some help.”

Ellie takes a step back and looks around. They sit in uncomfortable silence for a few seconds before Maria speaks up. 

“So, Ellie, I was hoping you could tell me more about your friend.”

Ellie feels each indivual bone in her body lock into place, and she swallows thickly. She is being asked to vouch for her, she realizes after a few moments of her brain reeling. Maria is asking her to vouch for Abby fucking Anderson, of all the fucking people on this fucking shithole planet. She needs to tell Maria, get them out of here, get _her_ out of here-

Abby must sense her building urge to shout, because she once again cuts in. 

“You remember Mel? She uh- well, long story short, Owen got her pregnant and we need a safe place for her to give birth.” 

Ellie freezes, and her stomach churns. She had forgotten about the pregnant woman. She- without Ellie, she lived. The thought is enough to make her sick with guilt for all she’d done in that life. Her hands tighten and it’s almost like she can feel the pressure of her knife- 

“Ellie?” 

Maria’s voice cuts through the haze of horrible memories, and Ellie’s head snaps up, her gaze locking onto Abby’s, and she’s torn into a whirlwind of memory. 

Those grey eyes glancing dismissively towards her as she begged for her to please, god, stop- pools of grey filled to the brim with hate, standing over Dina- tired, dull, reflective disks standing slouched in the water, flicking from her face to the switchblade in her hand- watery, devastated eyes trying desperately to hold onto the remaining slivers of hate as shaking hands pointed the gun at Joel’s chest-

And now, that determined grey gaze rests on her with full force, too proud to beg but unable to stop the desperation from peaking out from behind a wall of confidence. 

Ellie opens her mouth and closes it again, before grabbing her palm to stop her hands from shaking. 

“Yeah.” She says hoarsely, then clears her throat and looks to Maria. “Yeah, she’s good people.” 

Maria relaxes a bit and she can see Abby’s shoulders droop imperceptibly, releasing a breath Ellie hadn’t noticed her holding.

“Well then, I’ll talk to Marcus about setting your group up in one of the apartments for now, until we fix up something a little more, ah, long term.” Maria nods to Abby before looking back at Ellie. “It seems you two have… a lot to discuss. If you don’t mind, I have a meeting with the patrols in a few minutes.” 

Abby turns to her and nods. “I can’t thank you enough, ma’am.”

Maria shrugs. “No big deal. Friend of my niece is my friend, and all that. Now get out of my house.” She says, glancing at Ellie and giving her a friendly smile. 

Ellie feels a solid lump of dread settle in her throat. 

Abby forces another smile and starts to back up. 

“Thank you again.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” 

Abby turns and walks to Ellie, and Ellie feels her entire body tense up as she gets closer. The taller woman glances past her towards the door before setting her jaw and nodding. 

“Walk with me?” 

There are layers underneath that question, and it feels as if an electric current is passing between them in the seconds of silence that follow. 

After a moment, Ellie hesitantly nods, and steps aside for Abby to walk through the door, squinting at the flood of light from outside. 

She stands there, still frozen for several seconds, watching Abby saunter down the patio steps and grab the latch on the gate before turning to look at her. 

“You coming?” 

Ellie is blown away by the nonchalance of her demeanor, and she has to compose herself before speed walking after her, gritting her teeth.

“Do you have formula here? I trashed every grocery store from here to Seattle and only found three boxes of the shit.” Abby says, turning her head to glance down the street. For a moment, Ellie is pulled into a memory of a searching high and low. Dina had a hard week, and JJ was so hungry, he wouldn’t stop crying-

She shoves the memory back down. 

“Supplies are limited.” She snaps. “My girlfr- a girl here is having a baby soon as well so don’t think you’ll get special treatment.”

Abby sighs, shrugging. “Figures. What are the odds, huh? Two pregnant women in one settlement, at the same damn time.” 

Ellie feels a frustrated scream bubbling in the back of her throat and shoves away another invasive memory of a grey jacket and a knife and so much blood- 

She grabs Abby by the arm and pulls her back. The woman immediately raises a fist in defence, but relaxes a bit after a few seconds, her face settling into a solidly unimpressed expression. 

“Cut the shit. I know why you’re really here.” Ellie hisses, getting up into Abby’s face. Abby seems a lot taller then she remembers. 

“Enlighten me, Miller.” Abby reponds dryly.

Ellie tightens her grip on her arm and pulls her out of the street into the alley. It’s surprisingly hard to move the other woman, but Abby resigns after a second and lets the other girl pull her. 

“Is this really necessary?”

Ellie whips around as soon as they're out of sight and draws her knife, pressing it to Abby’s throat. Abby’s expression immediately hardens and she grabs Ellie’s wrist, putting them in a solid stalemate. 

“I know that you’re planning something, I know you’re here for him- you couldn’t just fucking let it go, could you-” 

Abby snorts. “I had a gun to his head seven months ago, what makes you think I’d spare him then, just to come back now? You think Mel’s pregnancy is just a ruse for my dastardly evil plans?” 

Ellie’s hand is shaking and she pulls it away from her throat, opting to point it at her instead. She holds the position for a few moments before a wave of memory and a phantom pain in her hand forces her hand fully down, fighting back thoughts of fog and water and the sound of a speedboat fading into the distance. 

“What are you really here for, Abby?” 

The other woman raises an eyebrow before looking around. 

“You really wanna know?”

Ellie grits her teeth. The other woman leans forward. 

“I’m here,” She starts in a stage whisper, “because my dumbass friend got his girlfriend pregnant, and we need a safe place for her to give birth.” 

“Why not just stay with the wolves then??” She snaps.

A muscle in Abby’s jaw flexes and she shrugs stiffly. “Got tired of them. Decided it was time to move on.” 

“You really expect me to fucking believe-” 

“Abby?”

Ellie freezes at the soft tone and whips around. 

At the opening of the alley, she sees the boy. He looks different from the last time she saw him in the other time, hollow and broken and skin and bones. His hair is shorter, too, and his stance is admittedly awkward but still cautious, eyes flicking between Ellie and Abby, and the knife that is held slightly behind her. 

Ellie immediately collapses the switchblade and shoves it in her pocket as the image of when she had held that exact knife to his throat helpfully pushes its way forward.

“Everything is fine, Lev. Me and my friend here were just having a...talk.” 

The boy, Lev, shifts uneasily. “Some talk.” He mutters under his breath, his hand making the slightest movement to gesture at Ellie’s pocket, where the knife sits uncomfortably. 

Ellie looks away, and she shakes her head. 

“I- I’m gonna go.” She says quietly, turning away to walk further into the alley. She’s stopped by a calloused hand on her bicep, and she is surprised when she doesn’t instinctively shove it away. 

“Miller, I promise you, I’m not here for you, or for him.” Abby says quickly, as if she’s worried that Ellie is going to cut her off. 

Ellie stands there with her head bowed for several seconds. She hears the kid shift uncomfortably. 

She slowly nods, then shakes her head. 

“If you try, anything-”

“You’ll kill me?” Abby finishes, and Ellie sharply looks back. She stares at Abby until movement draws her eye to where Lev stands. He looks terrified at the words, seems almost ready to jump forward and tear them apart- 

For some reason, she suddenly thinks of the time Joel fell. She remembers keeping him alive in that shack for weeks, hunting and collecting antibiotics and desperately forcing water and food into his mouth because she couldn’t bear losing him. She remembers David and the terrible thought that while she was captured, something would happen to him- and she remembers how that had scared her more than the idea that she was probably about to be raped and chopped up for meat. It had been the hardest experience in her life, even after watching Riley lose her mind. Even after losing Tess, and Sam, and everyone else along the way- it had crept up and haunted her like an inconvenient poltergeist every now and then, up until Abby smashed Joel’s skull in with a golf club. 

She sees that fear reflected in the way Lev is standing, ready to fight in an instant, even without a weapon, even against a stranger who he knows has a knife. 

She ignores the voice in the back of her head comparing Abby to Joel, and looks down. 

“...Yeah.” She says. 

As she turns, she hopes desperately that Abby doesn’t notice the uncertainty in her tone.


	4. Abby

“Soooo….was that Ellie?” Lev asks as soon as she joins him at the edge of the street, jogging a little to catch up with her fast stride. 

“Yep.” 

Lev nods, fidgeting with his hoodie strings and glancing over his shoulder towards the direction that Ellie had left in. 

“She seems….a little paranoid.” He says hesitantly, and Abby can feel him trying to stealthily glance in her direction to gage her response. 

She snorts. “Yeah, that’s an understatement, kid.” 

“...You never really told me what happened between you two.” 

He’s trying his best to sound offhanded and aloof, but Abby can hear the curiosity in his tone. 

“As I’ve told you before, it’s complicated and I don’t want to talk about it.” 

“Did you two.....y'know?” 

Abby abruptly stops walking, raising her hands. “Wh- woah, what the hell is that supposed to- no-” 

Lev has a shit eating grin as she sputters indignantly, and her eyes narrow. 

“I was just pulling your finger.” Lev says, and Abby huffs before gently pushing his shoulder. 

“It’s “pulling your leg,” and also, don’t even joke about that.” She is unable to keep the amusement out of her attempt at being stern, and Lev’s grin grows as he straightens back up from the push. 

“Well, whatever actually happened, why don’t you two just... forgive eachother?” 

Abby pauses, looking at a spot above Lev’s head before she starts to walk again, sighing. Lev keeps pace beside her, only looking away to watch his step on the uneven parts of the road. 

“The problem is, there isn’t exactly anything to forgive, Lev.” 

Lev cocks his head in confusion, his face screwing up in the way it does whenever Owen teaches him a new idiom.

“So then, what’s the problem?” 

“I did say I didn’t want to talk about this, right?” 

Lev looks down and his steps start to shuffle across the ground a little. 

“M’sorry.”

Abby glances over and shrugs, making herself smile when Lev glances up. “You’re okay. It’s just... not a fun story.” 

“Okay.” 

Lev still looks a little defeated, so Abby bumps him lightly, bringing his attention back to her. 

“Guess what?”

Lev’s eyebrows raise. “What?” 

“They’re gonna give us a house.” 

Lev’s face breaks into a shy smile. “Cold.” 

Abby laughs. “Yeah, it’s pretty cold.” She looks around at the busy street, taking note of the eyes that follow them as they walk. “I hope they like it here.” 

“How long do you think we’re staying?” 

“Well, if everything goes well, hopefully Owen and Mel can really settle in for the long run-” 

Lev shakes his head. 

“No, I mean, how long do you think _we’re_ staying?” 

Abby pauses, glancing around. She catches a few townspeople at the front of what looks to be a bar looking in their direction, all of them quickly turning away as she looks in their direction. After a minute of silence, Abby shrugs. 

“I dunno, kid. We don’t really have any leads right now-” 

Lev pipes up instantly. “But what about Santa Barbara?” 

Abby shakes her head. “It’s too risky. You heard what that one trader group said, the area is crawling with slavers.” 

“I still think we could take them.” Lev mutters, kicking at a pebble under his shoe. 

She snorts. “Yeah, sure we could, doesn’t mean we’re gonna try.” 

Lev’s expression settles into a pout, and as they turn the corner to the edge of town, Abby ruffles the boy’s growing hair. 

“Cheer up, kid. I’m sure in this town of six gajillion people someone’s gotta know something.” 

Lev looks up, eyes wide. 

“You really think there are that many people here?” 

Abby laughs and shakes her head, turning at the entrance of the red brick building the group had been instructed to wait in. 

She takes quick note of the two people sitting on the porch, watching her and Lev approach. One is a man, taller and a bit scraggly looking, and the other is a stout woman with honest-to-god glasses on her face. She’d thought that after the world went to shit, shoddy vision was just something one had to make do with, but it’s becoming more and more apparent that this place is just flat out weird. 

If it weren’t for the fact that she’d spent most of her life around soldiers, she probably wouldn’t have noticed that they both appear to be carrying- an anomaly in this town, if what she’s seen so far on the main road is any indication. Just the implication of the two is enough for her to itch for a gun- figures Jackson is the kind of place to confiscate all your weapons on the way in. 

They even took the knife she typically keeps in her boot- as if she was going to go around stabbing people as soon as she got the chance. 

“How’d it go with Maria?” Glasses asks, sitting up in her chair and giving Abby a long, examining look. 

“Just fine. I take it you two are the assigned guard dogs?” Abby replies stiffly, walking up the steps. 

Tall and skinny laughs at that, only to be cut off as Glasses kicks him in some attempt of subtlety. 

“It’s just a precaution. We’ve been burned before.” She says, meeting Abby’s dull glare with her own. 

“I don’t know what you expect me to do without a gun, but sure. Whatever makes you feel better, shorty.” 

The woman rolls her eyes and says something under her breath to Tall, who laughs. Abby feels irritation prickle under her skin. 

“Something funny?” She growls, glaring the two down. Tall shrinks in his seat, but Glasses only smirks and shrugs. Abby feels the annoyance spark sharply, and moves to take a step towards them until her arm is caught and subtly tugged. 

“Abby,” Lev says quietly behind her, pulling her towards the door. 

Abby lets herself be pulled, shooting one last glare before she turns and twists the knob, pushing her way into the building. She feels Lev’s entire posture relax as soon as they step inside. 

The room in which the group had been put while Abby was sent to negotiate is surprisingly cozy for a holding cell, with two mostly fresh looking sofas pushed against opposite walls and a table between them holding a small collection of mostly un-damaged books. 

As soon as they enter, Owen and Manny start to stand, both with similar expressions of alarm that dissipate as soon as they recognize Abby as the intruder. Behind them, Mel appears to have passed out, curled on her side on the further sofa. Nora appears to be reading through one of the books, but she looks briefly up as Abby enters before returning to her perusal. 

Before she has time to say anything, a bark brings her attention down as a large german shepherd jumps up at Lev, startling him into a laugh. 

“Hey girl!” He coos, scratching behind her ears as the dog continues to jump forward, making a valiant attempt to lick his face. 

“Alice, down.” Abby says, snapping her fingers, and the dog falls to all fours, though she doesn’t stop excitedly rounding Lev until the boy bends over, rubbing her back as she pants happily, settling on licking his hands. 

“Seeing as you haven’t returned with an armed guard, I assume it went well?” Nora muses, flipping a page. 

“What the hell are you reading?” Abby shoots back, raising her eyebrow at the shirtless brooding wolfman on the cover. 

“Shush, you, I was never able to find the first “Dawn of the Wolf” book back in Seattle.” 

Manny scoffs. “Someone with good taste probably burned all the copies before our time.” He wipes away a fake tear. “A faceless hero of the people.” 

Nora smirks, not looking away from her book. 

“Go fuck yourself, Manuel.” 

Manny gasps and makes his way across the room, making to cover Lev and Alice’s ears. 

“Such language, and in front of the children too?” 

Lev laughs and shoves the older man away, only serving to make the man’s grin grow. Alice flops over onto her side and Lev’s attention is once again drawn away as he joins her on the floor. 

Rolling her eyes, Abby turns to Owen, gesturing to Mel behind him. 

“How is she?” 

“Tired. She passed out pretty much the minute you left.” 

Abby nods. “Good. She needs the rest.” 

Owen stiffens. “Why? Are they not letting us stay?” 

“Opposite, actually. They’ve offered us an apartment for now.” 

Owen’s entire body relaxes, and he sets himself back down onto the couch at Mel’s feet. 

“Thank fucking god.” 

“Just like that? No big tests?” Manny asks, crossing his arms. 

Abby sighs and rubs her neck. “Well, I talked to Maria, and things are a little...uh, different around here. I told her that we were looking for something long term and she said that as long as we all contribute, we are guaranteed a place here for as long as we want it.” 

“What exactly does “contributing” mean here? Do they do assignments?” 

“Apparently, no. There are a bunch of odd jobs and you’re expected to uh, pitch in.” Abby shrugs. “I don’t know, Maria said that when we’re settled in, we can start helping out.” 

Manny snorts. “It’s a miracle these hippie freaks haven’t been raided.” He says, glancing out the window. “I don’t trust it.” 

“Manny.” Nora warns, looking up from her book. 

Manny’s hands fly up. “What? We’re all thinking it, I might as well be the one to stay it outloud.” 

Nora sighs and closes her book, folding over the page and setting it close by her side. “Maybe these are just good people.” 

“There are no “good people” left in the world.” Manny replies shortly. 

Abby sighs and gives Manny a warning look that he thankfully heeds before she turns to Owen. 

“My point is, we have a place here, if you want to stay.” 

Owen sighs, turning his head and examining Mel. After a few seconds, he looks back. 

“Only one apartment? For all six of us?” 

For the first time since getting back, Abby ventures a smile. 

“Well, Maria did mention that a house would be available soon.” 

Owen’s eyebrows shoot upwards. “No shit.” 

“We’d have first pick, with Mel and you due to have a kid.” Abby says, gesturing towards the sleeping woman. 

“There are no other families?” Owen asks, brow furrowing. 

Abby shrugs. “I guess not- though Ellie did mention a pregnant local, which may be a problem.” 

The room goes silent and Manny and Nora exchange a glance. Lev looks up from giving Alice belly rubs, and Abby sees him look over at her. 

“You saw... Ellie?” Owen asks finally, tone careful. 

Abby sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose. “Okay, guys, enough with the whole “acting like I’m going to break every time Miller is mentioned” thing. I’m fine.”

“We don’t think you’re gonna break-” 

“Oh, really? Is that why we haven’t discussed what we’re going to do if we run into Joel?” Abby replies sharply, crossing her arms over her chest. 

Nora opens her mouth before glancing to Owen with a look that reads as a plea for help, and Owen shifts uncomfortably. 

“You...didn’t seem to be particularly eager to talk about it.” 

“Of course not, but we at least need an agreed plan if he tries to pick a fight with me.” 

The room once again falls silent, and Abby feels her eye twitch. 

“What?” 

Manny rubs the back of his neck and glances at the ceiling. 

“We, did actually make a plan-” 

Abby turns sharply. “What? Without me??” 

Manny winces and pulls his best “please-don’t-kill-us” smile. 

“Well, the “plan” was more focused on keeping you from strangling the man with your bare hands.” The sentence is rushed in delivery, so it takes her a few moments to process. 

When her mind finally registers, she immediately feels her temper flare. 

“You mean you guys don’t fucking _trust me_ -” She starts, but her sentence is cut off by a knock at the door. 

Five heads turn to look at the nose, and Alice is instantly on her feet, barking and pacing at the door. Abby grits her teeth and points at the group. 

“We’ll have this conversation later.” She snaps, before turning and walking to the door, only stopped by Alice, who is scratching at the wood of the door and doing her best scary bark at whoever is on the other side. 

“Lev, can you-” 

“Got her.” Lev replies instantly, grabbing hold of the dog's collar and leading her back so Abby can reach the handle. She shoots him a grateful look before swinging the door open. 

It takes her eyes a moment to adjust in the midday light, and when they do, she finds herself having to drop her gaze about a foot to find the source of the knock. 

In front of her is a short woman with dark hair and unnerving glint in her eyes, wearing a heavy jacket despite the spotless weather. Before Abby can open her mouth, she takes a step forward, cutting the taller woman off. 

“Are you Abby Anderson?” She asks, head tilted to the side and dark eyes fixed determinately on Abby’s face. 

Abby’s eyebrows raise, and she glances back into the room before answering. 

“Yes?” She replies uncertainly, completely lost on what to make of the woman. 

The stranger nods, a sharp smile rolling over a strangely thunderous expression. 

“Good.” She says, in a tone that very much does not support the word. 

Then, she punches Abby square in the nose.


	5. Abby

Over the dull roar of blood in her ears, Abby can hear shouting start instantly. As she stumbles back, grabbing onto the door to steady herself, her hand flies to her face, clutching over her nose. She can already taste the blood in the back of her throat, and in a flash of panic, she’s sure her nose is broken- until the pain clears enough for the sensation of her prodding fingers against solid bone to remove the fear. 

She feels a brush of fur against her legs and glances down to see a furious Alice, barking her head off at the woman, who stands defiantly behind the watchdogs from earlier. Thinking quickly, she uses her non occupied hand to grab Alice’s collar, tugging the dog back before one of the idiots decides to shoot her. 

“Wh- Hey! Woah- back off-” 

“-the fuck kind of bullshit-” 

“Everyone needs to calm down, _right now_ -”

“-Calm down? She attacked her! Don’t tell us to _calm down, pendejo_ \- ” 

“-If you don’t back down-”

“Why are you yelling at _us?_ You saw that she-” 

Abby feels warm blood start to soak her palm and she heaves a snort that turns into an exasperated chuckle. Slowly, the argument around her dies down as all the eyes inside and outside the doorway train onto her. She feels Alice tug at where she holds her collar, still barking rabidly as the argument stills. 

She locks eyes with the petite woman, who is still glaring at her defiantly. 

“You sure can pack a punch, lady.” She says, her voice muffled by the hand cupping her nose. 

“Be glad I didn’t break your damn nose.” The woman replies hotly, and Glasses immediately puts out an arm to hold her back, looking nervously between her and the group of angry ex-wolves collected behind Abby in the doorway. 

“Dina, woah, what the hell-” 

“There better be a good damn reason for all the shouting.” 

Abby turns her head to look at the source of the irritated grumble and finds Mel slowly sitting up, clutching her belly and shooting Owen and Manny a scalding glare. She seems to take a second to evaluate the situation, eyes locking onto Abby, who’s still clutching her nose and trying not to drip blood down her shirt, then looking towards the doorway, where the three Jackson residents stare openly at the group uneasily. 

She rubs her face and pushes herself fully up, not raising off the couch. As she adjusts, the tall one clears his throat and glances nervously from Abby to the short woman. 

“So….do you two... know each other?” He asks hesitantly, only to immediately be shoved on the shoulder by Glasses. 

“Do we?” Abby asks dryly, narrowing her eyes at the woman over her hand. Her dark eyes flash and she opens her mouth to reply, but is cut off by a call from inside the room. 

“Abby, get your ass over here and let me take a look.” 

Abby wipes her nose defiantly, internally bemoaning the blood that smears across her hand- that is gonna be a pain to wash off. 

“I’m fine.” 

“Oh, thank you, doctor. Remind me- where’d you get your medical training, again?” Mel snaps. “Get. Your ass. Over here.” 

Exhaling slowly, Abby shoots the woman one last glare before passing Alice’s collar to Manny and reluctantly sulking over, sinking onto the couch next to Mel. She sees Lev move from where he was frozen in the corner, quickly walking over to the couch and pulling over Mel’s pack, settling next to them on the floor. The short haired woman gestures, and Lev pulls a rag and gauze from her pack, handing them over. Immediately, Mel begins aggressively wiping the blood away from Abby’s face. 

“Ow.” Abby growls, only to be met with a smack. 

“Quiet, you.” 

From the door, Owen turns to the guards. 

“Aren’t you guys going to _do_ anything? She attacked one of our people-” 

Glasses raises her hands defensively. “Woah, attack is a bit of a strong term, don’t you-” 

“It’s exactly the _right_ term, unless you country fucks call punching someone in the damn face something else-” Manny interjects, gesturing at where Abby sits. 

Abby grits her teeth as Mel stabs at her nose with her finger, white spots dancing across her eyes in response to the sharp sensation. 

Nora steps forward and puts a hand on Manny’s shoulder, putting on her best diplomatic face. “Alright, let’s all cool off for ten seconds. Right, Manny?” 

Abby rolls her eyes, only to receive another smack from Mel. From the doorway, Manny doesn’t move, still glowering outside, before Nora visibly digs her nails into his shoulder. 

“Right, Manny?” She repeats lowly, and the other man huffs in annoyed affirmation, stepping back and taking a still growling Alice with him. 

Nora steps forward, strategically putting herself slightly in front of Owen and Manny. 

“It appears we’ve gotten off on the wrong foot- I’m Nora, this is Owen- the grumpy one is Manny.” The medic nods forward, eyes narrowing slightly. ”Who are you, exactly?” 

“Dina.” 

Nora exchanges a slow glance with Owen. 

“Nice to meet you-” 

“I’m a friend of Ellie’s.” 

All six of them freeze in place at the firm declaration, and Abby feels Mel’s focus immediately shift away from her. 

There is a pregnant, awkward pause, and from where she sits, Abby can see Tall and Glasses exchange confused looks. 

“Ah.” Nora finally says, before she glances briefly back at Abby, her gaze evaluating before it sweeps back outside. 

“My apologies, Abby tends to be rather rude-” 

Abby sits up, ready to protest, before Mel rests a hand on her arm that stops her. She huffs and settles back down into the seat. 

“-care to come in? I think we have...some things, to discuss?” 

Glasses firmly shakes her head. “No, that seems like a bad-” 

Before she can finish, the woman- Dina- is pushing her way past the two, walking through the gap Nora makes as she steps aside. 

“Wh- Dina,” Glasses starts. 

“I’ll call you if I need you.” Dina replies shortly, her eyes locking onto Abby. 

Abby glares right back. 

The two guards look too bewildered to interject, and Nora shuts the door in their face before either has the chance. 

The silence is deafening as Dina looks around at them, her sharp gaze evaluating the situation. She glances at Alice, who has finally stopped barking, eliciting a growl from the dog. 

“Charming.” She remarks dryly. 

“Why don’t we all sit down?” Nora suggests. Abby watches as she exits Dina’s eyeline and stabs both of the standing men sharply in the side, causing them both to form matching indignant expressions that she meets with a glare. 

Mel returns to her inspection of Abby’s nose once the boys start to move towards the couch, poking her chin. 

“Look up.” 

Abby sighs and obeys, training her gaze on the ceiling. 

“So, Tina, was it?” Abby starts, doing her best to look at the other woman over her tilted face. 

“Dina.” 

“Like I said, Tina. What the hell did I do to you?” 

“Well, you kidnapped my best friend, to start.” 

Abby immediately drops her chin, raising her hands defensively. 

“Woah, okya, first of all-”

“Look _up_.” Mel snaps, and Abby grits her teeth and returns her gaze upwards, trying to maintain her posture as Mel starts to irritatedly shove rolled gauze up her nose. 

“Kidnap is a strong term. She found me, and-” 

“And then you kept her tied up somewhere for almost _two days_.” 

“Yeah well I-” Abby cuts off as Mel aggressively shoves the gauze upwards, stopping to pull away and cup her face, coughing. “Come _on_ , Mel-” 

Mel cuts her off with a firm look, and Abby grinds her jaw and settles back, absently picking at the balled shit now up her nose in discomfort. 

“Don’t. Touch.” Mel says, punctuating her sentence by slapping Abby’s hand down. Abby shoots the woman a glare, which she matches with equal ferocity. 

“Oh, and I’m pretty damn sure Joel didn’t break his own two ribs- you wouldn’t have had anything to do with that, right?” Dina snaps, stepping forward and resting her hand on the back of the chair closest to the door. 

Abby’s eyebrow raises and her attention turns back to the woman. She scowls. 

“Look, I don’t know what Ellie said to set her guard dog on us, but that shit wasn’t really as cut and dry as her majesty might have made it sound.” 

“Ellie didn’t set me on you-” 

“Yeah, sure.” Abby snaps, geturing outwards. “How much of the town has she already convinced against us, huh? Cause I gotta say, as much as I just _love_ getting punched-” 

Dina says something quietly, stopping Abby in her rant. She looks over at Owen, who shrugs at her questioning stare. 

“What did you say?” Abby asks finally, and Dina sighs, crossing her arms and looking away. 

“Ellie didn’t say anything. Joel didn’t either.” Dina sets her jaw, shifting her weight. “Neither of them ever told anyone what….happened.”

Abby stares at the dark haired woman, her mind spinning in confusion. She hardly registers the shifting of the people around her, head completely filled with swirling memories and confusion and so many questions- 

“Why….would they do that?” Owen says, voicing the question Abby’s brain all but screams.

Dina shrugs. “After they got back, everyone kept asking. Ellie made up some bullshit story about getting lost while hunting and getting attacked by a cougar. Not that anyone bought that, after Shimmer just _showed up_ without any of her supplies-” 

“Shimmer?” Nora asks, head tilting. 

Dina sighs and rubs her face. “The horse.” 

Confusion clouds the faces of the rest of the room, and Nora exchanges a glance with Manny and Owen. 

“We didn’t return-” 

“I did.” 

Six pairs of eyes train onto Abby, who shifts uncomfortably under the stare. 

“What? I wasn’t gonna just leave it to die.” She mutters, averting her gaze to the floor.

Manny abruptly chuckles across from her. 

“You and animals, Abs.” 

Abby immediately flips the man off, only smiling a little when she hears Lev’s soft laugh on the floor next to her. 

“Hold on, I’m still unclear here- how did _you_ know who we are, if Ellie didn’t tell you?” Mel speaks up, pausing in her wrapping of gauze. 

Dina shifts uncomfortably, avoiding the group’s eyes. 

“She….talks in her sleep, sometimes.” 

The room chills a bit at the quiet words, and Abby feels her grip tighten. She crosses her arms to hide her discomfort, inspecting the quickly crusting blood on her fingernails. 

Manny is the first to break the silence. 

“Well, that’s cheerful. On the bright side, no one else knows anything, right?” He asks, staring Dina down. “You wouldn’t go against her, ah, wish for privacy, would you?” 

The words are not a threat, but they are sure close in tone. Dina frowns, and her eyes narrow. 

“If you all try anything to hurt her, I swear to god-” 

“You’ll kill us, I know.” Abby finishes exasperatedly. When the room once again turns it’s focus onto her, she shrugs. “What? I’ve already had this conversation today.” 

Her gaze turns to Dina, who meets the look with a guarded expression. 

“Your girlfriend is capable of taking care of herself, trust me.” Abby ads dryly. 

“She isn’t my girlfriend.” Dina responds instantly, and Abby shrugs. 

“Sure.” 

The woman grits her teeth, before she steps away from the chair. 

“I’ve said everything I can to say.” She states firmly, before turning and starting to make her way out. Abby raises an eyebrow, watching the way the woman walks stiltedly away. It reminds her distantly of Mel’s recently developed pissed off waddle. 

Suddenly, two thoughts click in her head. 

“Good luck with the pregnancy, Dina.” 

Everyone in the room turns sharply towards Abby, except for Dina, who stops in her step. Her hand rests, still on the handle, and she glances back. 

The alarmed expression on the previously stoic features says everything Abby needs to know, and she smirks. She raises her hands and twiddles her fingers in a sarcastic wave, and the woman’s expression rapidly shifts between surprise, confusion, anger, and finally, a flash of fear. 

Dina looks away and quickly opens the door, stepping out and immediately slamming it shut. 

The room sits in stilted silence for about five seconds before Manny turns in his seat. 

“May I be the first to say, with feeling, _what the fuck??_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited mystery, finally answered: Shimmer is alive! Yaaaaaay. 
> 
> I know, you were all holding your breath. Hold back your shock and awe. 
> 
> -Ri


End file.
